13-10-2017 12:30 PM | Dr. Elizabeth James
Know all about parenting...
What is parenting? How to be a successful and efficient parent? What are the do’s and don’ts of raising a happy child? The list goes on. So, what is this parenting all about that there are many ‘experts’, ‘facilitators’, ‘mentors’, ‘counsellors’, ‘advisors’, ‘coaches’, ‘guides’, ‘instructors’ and what not to ‘teach’ the elders on how to raise their child. The whole exercise of bringing up the child today has become some sort of a complicated and complex Maths theorem. Why?
In the days of the old, most of the families were large and parenting was taken for granted. The children did not dare to speak in front and before their fathers. They don’t remember their parents helping them with their homework or playing on a daily basis. They had their neighbourhood or school friends for that. But now the present-day modern parents feel the need to do everything with their kids. And their sense of inadequacy has led to the birth of various ‘schools of parenting’.
In the so-called ‘good old days’, children used to sit together with the adults for every meal, but nowadays they are more often seen eating alone in front of TV. It has also become a status symbol for well-to-do families to hire a maid to take care of their young children, leading to a more distant and neglected family bond. Children in the past were told to finish their food; but food wastage is a common cause nowadays. Generally, parents nowadays are becoming more indulgent and submissive towards their children with less disciplinary actions.
To maintain the home budget, most families need two wage-earners (husband and wife) in order to buy a home, pay the rent, afford a decent lifestyle. So many kids are brought up in day care and do not come straight home after school, unlike the past when they looked forward to smiling grandparents, the go-to parenting experts, waiting to take them home. Many grandparents are staying alone in their own homes, thus diluting their influence on new generation. Time constraints force working parents to lay down set rules and activities for their kids.
We can say that today’s parents are adapting to changes but the rising number of children with behavioural problems makes one to think about this transformation. Today, youngsters are unable to withstand stress. As modern parents have the competencies to provide their children with their basic needs as well as luxuries, permissive parenting styles are common nowadays, leading to negligent parenting.
Children playing with their food as parents speak on their phones, maids bringing children to and fro from schools, parents forgiving even severe mistakes of their children are common nowadays. The older generation says that their parents largely left them alone. They let them have the freedom to entertain themselves, learn from mistakes, and fight their own battles. They used to eat what's put in front of them, sleep in their own beds, do their own homework, entertain themselves, and had no excuses.
We cannot compare the parenting styles of this generation with the previous one, but filial piety and family bond have been affected by the modern societal influences. The state of parenting has been in slow but steady decline. And parents have to think their own childhood and act accordingly before seeking guidance from the so-called ‘know-all-about-parenting-experts’.
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