19-02-2019 03:51 PM
Archana Sadashiv Wagle | My Indian Dream
All hell broke loose when she forgot....
This is a story of two of my close friends. I am close to both of them by virtue of being their classmate. They were employed in the same MNC. Both are equally qualified and talented. However one of them climbed the Corporate ladder to the top while the other reached the mid-management level.
After the promotion list was out the friend who was at the mid-management level went to wish her bestie and congratulate her. However, when she reached her cabin, all top bosses were sitting with her. Now, this friend congratulated her but the other was cold. She thanked her and said that she was busy.
I got a distress call from her and she began to cry. I told her that she has to understand that she cannot be herself when she is in a position of power where every small action of hers is scrutinised. And that she can be herself when she is outside the office premises. I kept speaking to her in the days to come until sense prevailed.
However, on a holiday, she called to talk to her. She was on tour and in a meeting with foreign delegates so she didn't pick her call. She didn't answer her messages nor made an attempt to get back to her. However, after a couple of days when she returned, she called and they spoke for a long time. She was full of complaints and the other had an explanation for every complaint.
Since I am their common and close buddy, she called me to intervene and explain to her that she doesn't have time for herself then how would she give her time. I did my best to protect their friendship. However, all hell broke loose when she forgot to wish her on her birthday. It had not happened in the past 35 years
I saw their great friendship falling apart.
I thought over it and realised that when two individuals are not happy in friendship they should distance themselves from each other. When they are not happy, they become possessive and touchy and spoil their life. They relate to the time when each minute detail was shared and that in the present, one of them doesn't have time to even talk or message. Both are unhappy because they are unable to understand each other. Each feels she is right and they are right in their own perspective too.
I feel that you do not grow in such relationships. You make yourself go through much anguish by thinking too much. Also at times, we are affected by personal issues that make us withdrawn. The other person doesn't understand because you do not speak openly and feel that you will be understood.
I held a get together for us twice so that I help them understand each other but each time I realised all the more that they would be happier apart.
Their friendship was deep and a long one so it was really tricky to help them realise that they have to bid each other goodbye....not that they have to stop being friends but they have to grow out of their need for each other which was due to the love they shared. I advised one of them to give her some time. If possible to change her job because she was hurting always whenever they came face to face.
She decided to take charge of her life, she was coincidentally offered a job at a higher salary which she accepted.
Now both are happy and peaceful. They call each other, they rarely meet but they know that they have each other whenever they need.
Their story brought me a lot of pain to see my buddies drift apart but in their being apart was a sweet closeness which brought them together in the true sense.
Friendship is a beautiful feeling however situations in life take our closest friend far away from us mentally. We suffer, hurt and feel neglected and small.
At such times, take a break from each other and you will then understand that if the friendship is close and genuine you will never grow apart. Also, we hold a primary responsibility towards ourselves to be happy and secure and we should realise that if someone considers you important you don't have to seek their time....they will make time for you anyway. If they don't, you just have to move away not apart. It requires a lot of inner strength and understanding but it's essential for both of you.