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Thinking between the black and white

03-02-2017 11:11 AM | Dhruvalakshmi Paithankar | My Indian Dream

Thinking between the black and white | My Indian Dream

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When you accept tints between black and white, you open yourself to endless possibilities. But, it certainly doesn’t mean that you have to compromise on your moral ground.

We all have our set of ideas, beliefs and expectations. We, on the very basic level, tend to categorize people in two groups. They are either black or white. They are either with you or against you. There is absolutely no middle ground, right? Wrong! There are people who do not carry your beliefs, who are not comfortable with your ideas and do not have any clue about your expectations.

Does that make them a bad person? Does that mean that they carry only black color and nothing else?

It is not that simple. I believe that no one is ever black or white. You cannot make two groups and put people around you in those. We all carry thousands of shades of grey in us. But, we are not comfortable with others having the exact same shades of grey. This is simply not realistic and it makes you extremist.

In psychological terms, it is called ‘splitting’ or ‘all-or-nothing thinking’. This is usually the defence mechanism used by people to cope with challenges. But, this defence cannot be helpful all the time. Knowingly or unknowingly, you start to destroy relationships, personal as well as professional.

We imagine how happiness would be or how a perfect relationship will look like. And then, we become slaves to our imagination. We stop enjoying things around us and start over-analyzing. We pass judgments, we try to control things and we obsess over every single detail. And it leads us nowhere. In fact, it leads us to a point where it damages us emotionally.

The only thing to do to get rid of this negative thinking is to accept that nothing can be either good or bad, or white or black. Accept other people’s  beliefs . Try to be more open about their thinking process. They are entitled to their own opinions and you are to yours. You do not have to follow their ideas. Just learn to accept that there are other colors in people. Shades of grey, red, blue, green and many other hues that you are not even aware of… It will not hurt you to know those colors, right?

Your world will be colorful and so will be your mind.

But, this process from knowing two colors to accepting a palate of shades will not be easier. You will have to take each step cautiously. Every time you start imagining worst scenarios and start planning details, stop right there. Let things run its course and you will see that it doesn’t always end in black and white.

About the Author


I am an avid reader and a moody writer. I live by the quote of J.R.R. Tolkien, which says, ‘not all those who wander are lost’. That explains why I am always enthusiastic about trying things.
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